Forget it, with the help of a treble cref

Feel like writing in english, because I'm studying it right now and I don't want to spoil the concentration I've been trying to find by now. I'm conscious of my being touchy in a way, conscious of my being sort of silent when I'm angry or when something particularly gets on my nerves, but I don't understand why, even if I'm trying so hard to change this behaviour, I keep on being like that, even when it's over with the fighting and all...what do you want from me, what do I want from myself: is it the same thing? I just don't get it. Think I'd been Silence in my previous life, I feel it so familiar yet so strange...
But please try to analyze yourself too, don't be defensive or grumpy. I won't be it too, promise, I'll try.
Are you still with me?